Grace increases

Grace and sin. Forgiveness. It is at the core of what I believe. I can face each day because in the deepest part of me I KNOW that His grace covers me. I am forgiven because he was forsaken to the cross and to my sin. I am blessed, any nothing can remove that blessing. Because his grace is infinite.

Loved

Yesterday started off with me losing first my cell phone and then my car keys. As a result, I was late to work,  a punishable offense if you are a repeat offender, which I have been known to be. Normally this would be the kind of thing that would color my whole day a dull gray. But lately I have been making the effort to redirect my focus when I start to get upset. I try to take a breath and remind myself that I am loved by the creator of all things. In the light of that love, lost phones and car keys are really unimportant.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't become Mother Teresa! I fussed at slow drivers who got in my way all the way to work yesterday. But when I pulled into the parking lot I took just a moment to ask God to guide me. And He did. Such a simple thing, I asked, He provided. It is a lesson that I am trying to remember.

I am loved. And so are you.

Do not give up, God has not abandoned you

On August 16, 2011 a friend of mine took his own life. He left behind a wife and children he adored. I don't know what was going through his mind and heart in the moments before his death. But I do know that he loved his family and could only have meant only to protect them from something by his actions, that's the kind of man he was.

Somehow, somewhere along the way my friend lost sight of God. He forgot that he was not ever alone and that no matter what he was facing it could never be greater that God's power. I am not judging him, we all lose sight of the Father from time to time. Not because He leaves us, but because we take our eyes off Him and see only our problems, our failures, our sin. It's like walking a path with our eyes downcast, seeing only our feet and the area directly in front of them. We become so focused on our narrow view that we miss the big picture. We miss the arms of our loving Father reaching out to us through the world around us and the people who love us.

My heart breaks for my friend, that he missed the bigger picture, that he thought the only solution to his pain was to end his precious, beautiful life. My heart grieves for his family, his children and his wife, who have had to find a way to carry on without him. And I grieve for myself, that I lost an old and dear friend. We had not been close in several years, but we had the bond of growing up together, that shared history that links you forever. I miss him. I miss simply knowing that he is out there somewhere, making his way in the world.

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My message today is this, no matter what you are facing you are never alone. God loves you. And if those words seem empty, if you can't feel His love, hang on. Don't give up. You ARE loved, despite what you may be feeling. And this world is a better place because you are in it. Reach out, call a friend or family member and say "Help me". There are hotlines and support groups, there are churches and outreach programs. There is help.

DON'T GIVE UP. 

Sunday thoughts on failing

So, this morning I overslept and missed church. I have been struggling with a stupid ear infection which makes me dizzy and head-achy. To top that off I have hives or something and have been itching in patches all over my body. May I just say, I do not handle discomfort with grace. Especially itching. To be blunt, I am a complainer. A whiner. I am also a big believer in better living through medication, hence why I overslept this morning.

So, here I sit on my couch contemplating life in all its complexities and feeling a bit like I have failed God. See, my church is small and frankly struggling. I joined the praise and worship team last year (at God's leading) to help out my beloved Pastors, not because I had any desire to be on stage. I was terrified of the microphone. I was timid and shy (something people who know me well would wonder at) and afraid to project. I was about as far out of my comfort zone as I could get.

Right from the start, despite my fears and anxiety, I knew I was where God wanted me to be, because as soon as the music started I was no longer afraid. I was able to truly worship, even with the microphone in my hand and all those eyes watching me (and minds judging me). And slowly my confidence has grown and my fears and anxieties have diminished. I know in my heart that is because I am where God wants me to be. But sometimes I give in to the fear, sometimes I allow myself to be lazy. Like today. Yeah, I know, I am sick. My ears hurt, my head hurts, I feel like poo. But here's the thing, if today were Monday I would be at work. Because I have a responsibility to be there (and because I like having a job and getting paid). So, by sitting here on my couch right now I am basically saying that God is not my greatest priority, right?

See, I have failed. Again. Really, I wonder why He even puts up with me. But that's the thing. He does. And more than that, He gives me the chance to try again. And again. Oh, and please note, I said I failed, not that I am a failure. Once upon a time, in the not too distant past I would have freely used that word. I would have worn it with a kind of sad pride. FAILURE. So many of us wear that word like a name badge, "Hi my name is Tamara Failure". We shouldn't. We fail, we fall short. But we are not failures. We are forgiven, we are loved, we are uplifted by strong arms that never fail. And we are given the chance to do better. So, next Sunday I will try again.

I have shared this before, but I think it bares repeating.

My favorite quotation (today)

This is actually NaBloPoMo writing prompt that I really liked but had not used yet. This is because I have trouble picking a favorite quote. I could probably write about a new quote everyday for a year and still have something to share.
I love words. Words of inspiration, words of comfort, peace; humorous words, words that make me think. My journal is full of quotations that I have picked up from Twitter and Facebook, from the Bible or whatever random book I happen to be reading. I have been know to pause the TV and back it up 1/2  a dozen times to get one of those quotes they use at the beginning and end of Criminal Minds episodes.I do the same thing with music. I will listen to the same song over and over just because a certain verse spoke to me (thank goodness for ear buds).

So to pick an absolute favorite is almost impossible. But I can give you a favorite. One that is attributed to one of my favorite authors, C.S. Lewis:

"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word 'darkness' on the walls of his cell"

This comforts me. Nothing I do, nothing that anyone does will change the essence of God. He is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever. No matter how crazy life is, no matter how overwhelming my day to day problems seem, no matter what I think, God is still God. And what even more amazing, He loves me. Through all my doubts and fears, through all my wanderings, He loves me. Why would I ever want to refuse Him, to live in that cell full of darkness? The God of all creation, the author and finisher of ALL things loves me.

Yeah, that comforts and inspires me. It fills my heart with joy. I hope it does the same for you.

What is the bravest thing you've done?

That is the NaBloPoMo writing prompt for today.

What is the bravest thing I've ever done?

The first thing that came to mind when I read this was writing this blog. I never saw myself as a writer. I have been reading so many blogs by people who have always had the drive, the desire to write. That is not me. This is a completely new thing for me. And it has grabbed hold with a vengeance and will not let go.

The next was my marriage. Sticking it out through the tough times instead of giving up. If you have ever been married, you know what I mean. **And before I hurt anyone's feelings, I am not saying that divorce is giving up. Not for anyone but me. I know that sometimes it's the only option. Sometimes things are not fixable, no matter how hard you try. We all have our own path, our own story, I am not here to judge anyone's story , I just want to share mine.

But I really think, if I stop and think about it, that the bravest thing I have ever done is to seek and follow (to the best of my ability) the heart of God. His heart, his desire for my life is leading me into new territory every day. This blog for one. Being married is definitely one. Singing with my church's praise and worship group is another. I NEVER thought I would stand on that platform with a mic in hand and sing. But this past summer after a service in which most of the group was unable to attend I followed God's nudge and offered to help. Been on that platform ever since. It terrifies me, right up until the music starts. Then God steps in. I don't know how I sound or look, but I don't care. At least in that moment. Because it isn't about me, it's about Him.

Prayer is another path He is leading me down. I have a Facebook prayer group and I manage a prayer group at work (how completely cool is that???) and a few times God has moved me to just go to someone and ask to pray for them. Talk about scary. I always feel this overwhelming fear of looking stupid and being rejected. But not once has that happened. I believe that is because I am following the leading of God.

Yeah, following God is the bravest, scariest, most beautiful thing I have ever done. I think I am gonna keep doing it....

early Monday morning thoughts and prayer

It's 5:15 am and I am in front of the computer. Why? Because it's quiet in the house at this hour. Quiet is sometimes hard to find around here. We don't have kids, so I can't blame them. See, our house is small, and our computer literally sits next to the TV. Right next to it. And if my husband is conscious, the TV is on. Even if he isn't really watching it.

I don't do this. If I have something I want to watch, I sit down and watch it. Otherwise the TV is off because it is way too distracting. I have a one track mind, and the bright moving pictures and babble are compelling, even if I am not interested in what is being said.

Another reason I am up early to write is guilt. I have been spending a lot of time on this computer writing lately. And I feel guilty. James spends all day here alone, then I come home and sit down at the computer and try to focus. This means ignoring him.

If you don't know us you may be wondering why James spends all day alone. What about a job? Doesn't he see people when he goes to work? There is a story there, and I want to tell it. But not today. I don't have that much time this morning. That's definitely a weekend post. Or 2. Plus, I want his permission since it's his story. The short answer is that his job is managing my mom's storage rental business and taking care of her property. And this job doesn't really involve a paycheck, per say. Another story. I promise to write it soon. And get permission to share.

Anyway, I am up early and my husband is heavy on my mind at heart. He did the sweetest thing when he came to bed this morning. Yes, this morning. He doesn't sleep much. This may not have been his first trip to bed, I could have slept through 15 attempts at sleep. I sleep hard, he barely sleeps. Anyway....this time when he crawled into bed he reached out and placed his hand on my arm and prayed for me. Not out loud. But after 20 years of marriage, I know his prayer when I feel it. And right now I feel covered in grace. And love. That's a pretty great way to start a Monday.

Lord, be with James today. Pour blessings and mercy over his heart and soul. Draw him close to your side and protect him from harm. Thank you, Father, for bringing this man in to my life, for making him my helpmate, lover, and friend. I would also ask a special blessing on all who come visit here today and read these words. Meet whatever needs they have buried in their hearts, bless their families and all the work of their hands. Thank you for the potential for a beautiful, busy day. Thank you for loving us all. Amen

My helper this morning. Silly girl. :)

Sunday thoughts and some pictures

Last Sunday I started something that I would really like to see become a habit. I am going to call it "Sunday thoughts". Basically this is going to be a wrap up of the previous weeks inspiration. Pictures, quotes, other blogs, anything I saw that inspired me, made me think, laugh, smile, or cry I want to share with you. I hope this is a habit I can stick to and that it will be a blessing to you.

I found 2 blog posts today that really touched my heart. The first is written by Trinka Polite and is titled Breathe...
 I hope you will click the link and read the whole thing, but I want to share my favorite line:

My other grandmother told me that’s how I came to be. 
God took my body and in it He breathed.   
So when you inhale and exhale notice your breath 
and realize God is dwelling in your chest.

God is dwelling in my chest. The gift of life is so precious and is something I tend to take for granted. I really want to remember to just slow down and breath.

The second blog I wanted to share is written by Ashley McKenney and is titled Come Away with Me (as NJ says) 

Please click the link. This blog is full of some really beautiful images. And Ashley has some really good insight into finding balance between being a parent and being a person. I think a lot of my "mommy" and "daddy" friends will appreciate her words.
  

Now, can I share with you some pictures from my phone?
Of course I can, cause it's my blog!

 Yesterday we were out at my mom's place and while my hubby worked, I wandered around taking pictures. I do this a lot and my mom just shakes her head at me. She doesn't get it. :-)
I love this place. I was raised here and one day I want to move back, if my stubborn parent will permit it. 
I love this image, the contrast of colors just speaks to my heart. God made this simple thing and created it with so much care and beauty. It blesses me.

This is my sweet husband mowing on the tractor. He really got a lot more than he bargained for when he fell in love with me, because I am a complete momma's girl. He will never escape my never ending drive to be there for mom. And he takes it in stride. Sometimes I think he loves her more than I do. He is a great helpmate and son in law. 

I saved this screen shot of a text message between me and my hubby a while back. It makes me smile every time I stumble across it. He really gets me. Route 44 Sonic drinks are a great weakness of mine, I can't pass one without wanting to stop. He gets that. He gets me. How awesome is that? 

 This is one of my many fur babies, Tom-Tom.
Isn't he beautiful? 

Here are a few quotes I picked up around the web this week:

 "I start in the middle of a sentence and move both directions at once." -John Coltrane 

"People who make you laugh are the best people in the world" -Emma White

 "In war, there are no unwounded soldiers" -Jose Narosky

"If we learn to be amazed at what God has done and is doing in our lives, we will never be without hope" -Joyce Meyer

and my favorite this week:

"Follow me and I will make you fishers of the human soul" -Jesus Christ

(from "The Book of God" which is the Bible written as a novel. I love this spin on the traditional "fishers of men")

The last thing I want to share I got from a Facebook friend. I won't use her name here, to protect her privacy. But I just had to share her thoughts with you. If you are a "facebooker" you know that during the month of November a lot of folks try to post a daily thankfulness thought. I saw tons today about being grateful for our Veterans (it's Veterans Day today) and that is wonderful. We should all always be grateful for those who put their lives on the line for our freedom. But my friend had something a little different to say:

 

DAY 11: I guess I could take the easy way out and say I am thankful for our vets and I am but instead I want to say today I am thankful for all the people who love them and are left behind to worry about them...I am thankful for the ones they come home to ... more times than not the vet that comes home is not the same person that left.. these people have to stay strong and learn to love all over again sometimes a whole new person..so thank you family and loved ones you are also my heroes

(beautiful!!)

okay, that's it for this Sunday. I hope that something here has blessed you, inspired you, made you think, or just made you smile. God bless!

It's Thursday and I'm thankful.......

I was really kind of worried about today's post because I was really NOT feeling it this morning. If you saw yesterday's entry, you probably figured out that all the post election drama on Facebook and Twitter (and some of the blogs I read) really got to me. Not to mention I have been really tired, like slap you for looking at me wrong tired, so I wasn't feeling very patient or forgiving.




When I got in my car to head to work God and I had a talk. It went something like this:

Me: Heads up Lord, I really am not in the mood for this today so you are gonna have to do something. I am not going to get through this day without your intervention.
God:......................
Me: You hear me right? I need my job, so a "F.A.Y." moment (if you have ever worked with me you probably know what this is, it's legendary. If not, well let's just say it's not one of my finer moments) is not acceptable. You HAVE to do something, because I am too tired to keep my mouth shut.
God:......................
Me: Seriously, I need your help to find my joy, to be able to be your representative in that place. And not kill people.
God:......................
Me: okay, balls in your court now.....Amen

Once I got to work I logged on to Twitter reluctantly, and was glad to see that most of the drama has died down (thank you Lord!). On a whim I tweeted something to a group I follow called "People of the Second Chance":

Tamara Tipton ‏@TamaraTipton

@POTSC I am seeking inspiration to get me through this day. Got anything for me?

Honestly, I really wasn't expecting a response. I mean, who am I? I barely have a dozen followers on Twitter and at least 4 of them are personal friends that I am sure haven't been on Twitter in at least the last 3 years. Why would a perfect stranger pay any attention to my one little tweet among many others?

Now, let's refer back to my earlier conversation with God. I made it seem he wasn't listening, didn't I? That would be because in my mind I wasn't really sure he was. I mean, it wasn't an "official" prayer after all. More like a rant aimed in his general direction.

Turns out though, he was listening. And he tweets. Okay, maybe HE doesn't tweet, but he does direct people who do. Here are a few:

israel hogue ‏@israelhogue

just the fact that you would ask is awesome!! YOU'VE inspired ME!! Praying grace and peace to you today. 

 POTSC ‏@POTSC

  this is full of inspiration: http://pinterest.com/potsc/  & the stories on http://potsc.com  are ammmaaazzzinnng. We love you! 

Donald Paz ‏@draggabeats

 inspiring tweet » https://twitter.com/UrbanThreshold/status/266575547524591617 …

"As you put actions behind your prayers, your faith comes alive and opens the door for God to move mightily on your behalf."

TR Robertson ‏@trripleplay

http://titus2tea.blogspot.com

This one is my favorite because it took me to a great blog that I will be adding to my reading list. And it included this great picture:  

This brings back so many happy memories of my great grandmother. This very print hung on the wall in her home. It's like a hug straight from God.

So, today I am thankful for my God, who listens to my 1/2 prayer 1/2 rants with complete attention and meets my needs in a beautiful and unique way. And I am thankful for the strangers who are willing to follow the His leading to reach out and inspire a perfect stranger.  

Healing and prayer

I have this friend, a beautiful, kind, witty woman who is full of faith in God and a blessing to everyone she knows. And she has cancer. Very aggressive, very deadly cancer. Recently her doctor gave her a prognosis that was not good.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think that doctors need to be honest. And that knowing the worst can help you to prepare, to consider what your legacy will be to the ones you leave behind. It can be a blessing that can help you reach out to those you love and find peace.

But I think it could also build a wall of fear and acceptance of a future that God may not have planned for you. Let me be really clear here....

I believe in healing. I believe that even today God is all powerful and a miracle working God. And I believe very strongly that we must ask for our miracles. We are called to ask, to speak our requests to our Father, to lay our burdens down and then claim our miracle. And keep claiming it over and over until we either receive it or receive a word in our spirit that guides us in a new direction. Because, let's face it, bad things happen to good people and sometimes the answer is no.

But until God speaks that "no" into our spirits, I believe we have an obligation to claim our "YES".

As to my friend, I got a text today that her numbers are improving, and I am praising God for his grace. And I will continue to lift her up every day until the answer comes. Because I am believing whole heartedly for a wildly enthusiastic YES!