Friday, January 31, 2014

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Weigh in Wednesday

Well, it's been a few weeks since I posted an update. I wish I could report good news but I can't. I have really been slipping in the exercise and in controlling my diet. Over my break my weight has fluctuated quite as bit, ending today on the high side. Hopefully I can reverse this trend! Stay tuned and say a prayer for me!
Current weight: 258lbs
Current Fasting blood sugar: 129
pardon my french! ;)

Sunday, January 26, 2014

singing a new song

**This is my first entry in what I hope will be a long series of posts to my "grandtoy", Becca. She is now 6 months old and starting to really get around. Her grandmother, Becky, was a dear friend of mine as well as being my husband's cousin. She died almost 15 years ago, but I know she watches over us and over Becca (who is named for her). I know there are so many things that Becky would have shared with little Becca if she had been given the chance. As her friend, I want to stand in for her, to make sure that Becca learns the really important stuff about life and her family. And since I know all too well that life is short and tricky, I wanted to write it all down "just in case". I also thought I might as well share them here. Who knows, someone else may find something of small value in these words. You never know, right? we go!


 Dear Becca,

I love to sing. I have for as long as I can remember. I took choir in school (with your Grandma Becky) instead of band (I think I may have been the only person in my class who never took a single year of band!) and even took private voice lessons for a while. But there was one problem, I have a powerful fear of being noticed, of standing out in the crowd.

I have lived my life as a wallflower. Always on the fringes, always looking for ways not to be noticed, because if you notice me, you might be a witness when I screw something up. And you very well might laugh at me and make me feel bad. Do you see the contradiction? Singing is all about drawing attention. It is loud and out there. It grabs your attention and says "look at me, hear my heart!". Hear my, I am pretty sure I don't want the world to hear some of the things I am hiding in there!

Over the course of my life singing went from a passion to something I did while driving down the road in the car or in an empty room. The only place I ever really let myself be heard was at church and that was from a pew way in the back!

It was that way for more years than I care to recall. But last year I felt God leading me to volunteer to help with my church's praise and worship group. I was nervous, but I found I could easily lose myself in the music. Over time, the nerves have almost completely vanished, leaving me For so many years I have hidden myself away, afraid to stand out, to be seen. Worrying about being foolish or making a mistake. That worry, that is the foolish thing. Life has too much to give for me to be hiding along the walls trying to go unnoticed! I want to be heard, I want to make a joyful noise (and noise it may well be!) and sing songs of praise and joy. I want the world and my Father in heaven to know my heart.

The lesson here, don't waste a lot of your energy on fear. If you want something, reach for it. Don't be afraid to fail. Everyone fails. It is part of the human experience and never something to be ashamed of. Rather, it is something to learn from, to grow from; failing can actually be a blessing, not a curse. It's all in how you handle it. This is a lesson that has taken me 42 years to learn and I sometimes have to be reminded of it daily. Take it from me precious girl, learn this lesson early and remind yourself often. Get it down in your spirit and let it take root. Failure is not to be feared and life is not to be lived on the sidelines!

Until next time and with all my love,


Friday, January 10, 2014

Friday Funnies and grumbles

I am sitting on a heating pad on my couch, where I have been for the last 2 days. Well, minus the trip to see the doctor. I somehow managed to pull a muscle or something in my back. The spasms started on Tuesday and got progressively worse Wednesday and Thursday. To top it off, I thought I might be coming down with something. I was feeling so worn out and my blood sugar was wonky (a technical term!) which is usually the first sign of illness. So, off to the doctor I went, because I do not play games when it comes to my health. If I feel off, there is a reason and something needs to be done about it!!

Guess what? I am perfectly healthy. Aside from being a diabetic who is super sensitive to blood sugar changes I mean. Well, my mental health is questionable too, but that's for another day. Turns out I feel so crappy because my blood sugar levels are high because I am in pain. The doc assures me that this is normal, I am just a bit more sensitive to the changes than most, and everything will return to normal when the pain is gone. I guess being sensitive is good, it means I catch most things before they get out of hand (like the cat scratch fever I had after a particularly bad kitten bite) but at the moment I am not a fan!

OKAY!! That's enough of the grumbles! Here come the funnies:

much cuter that the original

why my cats are banned from the bedroom at night...




works with cats and kids (so I'm told)

And a little inspiration to go:

Friday, January 3, 2014

Friday Funnies

Welcome to the 1st Friday of the New Year! This has been a crazy week at work, even with a day and a half off for New Years, so I am happy to see Friday arrive and I am looking forward to a quiet weekend curled up on the couch with my hubby, cats and a good book. :)

what IS that smell??

popcorn anyone?


I'm glad it gives someone comfort!

I have no idea how that happened.
Bonus inspiration:

love this!

Have a great weekend, whatever you find yourself doing! God Bless and Happy New Year!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy 2014

Happy New Year!

Things have been really quiet around here for a while. I could say (again) that I haven't been feeling "bloggy" but that isn't really the whole truth. The truth is that I have plenty to say, it just isn't very pleasant.

A few months back some stuff happened in my family and it has really thrown my off my game. I haven't wanted to share it here since it involves others who wouldn't appreciate having their "dirty laundry" aired on my blog. But it keeps eating at me. I can push it to the back of my mind while going about my day to day routine, but whenever I sit down to write, whether it be here or in my journal, it all tries to come pouring out. Hence, no blogging.

The problem with my "no blogging" policy is that I miss it. So, I am going to try to work through some of the pain and bitterness and get back into this blog. I won't make any promises and I won't be following any schedules or participating in any challenges, but I will be trying to write. My hope is that I can find a way to actually move forward from this place of pain I seem to be stuck in. After all, it is a new year, and with new years come new possibilities, right?

Happy New Year everyone. May all your dreams come true.

I find truth in this

Lead me Lord.