Sunday Thoughts

It's late and I'm really tired. It's been a good weekend, nice and quiet. Spent my time napping, reading, swimming, watching TV with the hubby, and (of course) working on a scrapbook for a friend.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to write about tonight. I prayed, seeking some divine inspiration, some spiritual light to guide me. A little later, when I was feeding my Facebook addiction, I saw this:

Of course, my first thought was my marriage and how these words apply to me. Kind of an "oh, that's the truth!" moment. And it is the truth. But maybe, just maybe there is a deeper truth.

You hear it said all the time, God is love. And love really is about hanging on, even when the road is rough, even when you don't understand. When bad things happen and people ask "Why?" I don't have the answer. I don't know why. But I do know that God loves us. He truly does. I don't understand, sometimes I get discouraged or even angry. Sometimes I ask "WHY?". And yet, He never let's go of my hand. He loves me, imperfect, shallow and weak child that I am. So, no matter what happens, no matter how confusing life is or how unclear the path before me becomes I am going to hold on to His hand. I am going to trust Him and let His unending love be my guide. 

_______________________

I don't know if that was divine inspiration of sleep deprivation, I will let you decide. I'm going to bed. :)

Friday Funnies!

Happy Friday!! I am so glad this day has finally arrived. It has been a crazy, long and busy week! I am definitely looking forward to a quiet weekend in the pool or curled up on the couch with a book!

Now, let's get some funnies to start off this day right, shall we?

This little guy is just too cute!!

Whovian Humor. If I have to explain it then it's not that funny....

truth

LOL!

Also truth

the meds, they are good!

Dinner anyone??

And there you have it, the 21st addition of Friday Funnies! Now, let's get out there and have a great day!

yes, I am.

Thirty days of truth: Day 10

Hey, remember the 30 days of Truth? To be honest, I had forgotten about them! This morning I went looking for something to write about and they came to mind. So I clicked over to see where I left off:

Day 10. Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Oh, I think I see why I "forgot" about this..


Truthfully, there are lots of people I wish I didn't know for a lot of good reasons. Hurtful, bitter, angry people. People who have used and hurt the ones I can about. Even one or two who have hurt me. For the most part, I have already let these people go. My husband and I made the conscious choice to distance ourselves from those people. There was no fight, no major drama, just a quiet drifting that removed them from our orbit. It is a process I highly recommend. You don't have to let people like that pull you down. You can wish them well and move on. Even family. In fact in our case, mostly family. It can be difficult, but in the end it has been worth it...


Oh, before I forget, check out my Thursday Thankfulness post here! 

Wednesday and not a lot to say.

Nope, not a lot to say this morning. Not that there is anything wrong. Life is good. It's just that my brain doesn't seem to want to engage long enough for me to come up with something witty to say. I think I have "Wednesday-itis". Is it Friday yet???

LOL! I hope you are having a great week wherever you are! See you tomorrow! :)

My unglamorous life

Is your job glamorous? Mine is not. Do you sometimes look around you and wonder if you are making any kind of mark on your world? I do. I know I have written about this before, but it was brought to my mind again yesterday. I am not ever likely to be a great leader, I am not likely to ever have the kind of reach with my little blog that will move a thousand hearts to God. But that doesn't mean my life is wasted. God uses me right where I am.

Over the last few days I have been given the opportunity to pray for 3 different people whom I would probably never known if it had not been for my very ordinary, unglamorous job. One is a friend I met when I first went to work there 18 years ago. She moved on to another job long ago but we have maintained a friendship. Last week her husband went into the hospital and today he is having open heart surgery.

The second friend is someone that I work closely with since they restructured my work group a few months back. Her father was life flighted to Houston over the weekend with a ruptured brain aneurysm. He is in ICU while the doctors work out what happened.

The third is a friend I don't see much of since the a for mentioned restructuring. I just don't get to her part of the building much anymore, nor does she get to mine. But she sent me a text yesterday telling me that she will be off work for a while due to health reasons and asking me to add her to my prayer list.  

Being asked to pray is an honor and a gift. When someone reaches out to you like that, they are placing in you a rare trust. I try to do my very best to honor that trust. It makes me so grateful that for my unglamorous little job and my unglamorous little life. God uses me right where I am, He touches hearts through me right where I am. Really, what more could I ask for?

Good Morning!

Yesterday in church we sang a song that has been stuck in my head ever since. But not in the usual "I can't stop singing this" way. The message of  the song is stuck. The first verse goes like this:

"Well, I woke up this morning feeling fine

I woke up with heaven on my mind

I woke up with joy in my soul

cause I knew my Lord had control"

Now, let me tell you the truth of how I woke up this morning. I rolled over at 5:15 am and turned off my alarm clock with little grace. I lay there for just a moment thinking of all the things I have to face today, all the things that need doing. Then I forced myself out of bed and to the couch, where I sat with my laptop and the TV remote for 2 hours writing a review of Falling Skies for Fanbolt.com. In short, I did not wake up feeling fine, thinking of heaven, or thanking God with joy for his presence and control in my life. Here I am, 2 and 1/2 hours into my day and I have not once stopped to speak to the most important person in it. Here is one sustainable change I need to make. I need to take the time and put Him first. Because if I do, I know  beyond doubt that I will (more often than not) wake up with joy in my soul, ready to face whatever the day has promised.

Lord, forgive me for my inattention to you. My human mind and heart are weak, flighty things. Help me to learn to focus myself on you first. To begin each day with a conversation with you instead of the worries of the moment. Take control of this day and guide me through it. Thank you for all the gifts you have given me and for your saving grace that covers me. I love you Father. Amen..

___________________________________

Sunday Thoughts and pictures

I read an interesting and enlightening post this week over at my friend Jerimi's blog "My Antidepressant Life". It was titled Mental Health Club and it really hit home. In her post Jerimi talks about coming to the realization that in order to ensure good mental health we have to be willing to work at it everyday. Ugh.

Can I just say that at this very moment my inner child is kicking and screaming... I. DON'T. WANT. TO. I just don't. Don't get me wrong, I want to feel good, but I want it to be easy. I don't want to have to work at it. Jerimi's thoughts don't just apply to mental health either. They apply to all areas of my life (DANG IT!). I struggle with my weight and diabetes and frankly a large part of that struggle is making the right choices in food and exercise. I am an emotional eater. I take comfort from food, always have. But, the foods I crave are not ones that lead to emotional or physical well being. I have to make better choices. I have to be faithful to my body and my mind. And I have to make sure these choices are things I can stick with over the long haul. They have to be sustainable. I'll say it again. UGH.

If I am being completely honest with myself I have to admit one other area of my life where I need to apply some sustainable life choices. That would be my relationship with God. Let's face it, I am a lazy Christian. I treat God the same way I treat myself. I want things to be easy. I want Him to be available to me when I need Him, to answer my prayers and provide for me and my loved ones. But I don't want to do my part. I don't spend time reading His word. I don't spend time talking to Him, I mean really talking, not just asking for stuff. I am no better than a 4 year old with a Christmas list (I want this, I want that, give me-give me-give me!!!).

I need to make some changes. Changes I can live with, changes that will help me grow in my walk as a person of faith. Something tells me that if I make those changes a priority that God will guide me in the other changes I need to make to improve my mental and physical health.Oh, I am going to have to give this a lot more thought. Thanks Jerimi! ;-)


Okay, that's enough introspection for now, how would you like some pictures?

My first 2 pics I want to dedicate to Jerimi, who is a fan of the Sunflower, just like me. I took these with my phone, so the quality isn't the best it could be, but I like them! :)

SUNFLOWERS!!!

Beautiful from the back too!

This pretty girl is my own Maggie Mayhem, named for a character from my favorite TV show, Falling Skies. Originally she was simply Maggie May, but as her personality developed the "hem" was inevitable! 

My Maggie Mayhem!

Next we have a lovely cactus bloom. This is from my mom's house, my cactus is growing like crazy but not blooming at all.

This one is one of my current favorites because it makes me think of my step dad, Ken. Lone Star Sign Co. was the name of the sign company he owned when he met my mom. My hubby found a box of these old pencils in Ken's old workshop. They have to be at least 35 years old!! Of course, I had to have a few as keepsakes, but the rest will be put to good use, just as he would want!

My honeysuckle bush is finally starting to take off. It has struggled the last 2 years with the drought we have had, but this year it is busting out all over!

And finally we have me. Every now and then when I am having a decent hair day I try to grab a self portrait. I am not a huge fan of my own face as a rule and I am trying to get over that!

Okay, that's all I have for this evening! I hope you had a great weekend and are getting geared up for the week ahead.

Friday Funnies!!

 TGIF!

 This has felt like the longest week in the history of long weeks! It's almost as if someone has been using a Time-Turner on me when I wasn't looking (that's a Harry Potter reference if you are confused!). I am looking forward to a busy work day ahead (just the way I like it!) and then the weekend will FINALLY be mine!! :)

Okay, rant complete, how about those funnies??

guilty

:)

this is just CUTE!

Ok, I know this one is slightly disturbing, but it makes me laugh. :)

See above

FEED ME!!

LOL!

Amen to that!!

___________________________________

And now to face the day! I hope you have a day filled with laughter, love and friendship! God Bless! 

Family Pictures!!

So, NaBloPoMo for June is pretty much a bust for me. I haven't even glanced at the prompts since the first week. I am working on getting myself back on track and out of the grip of anxiety, I haven't even thought about writing prompts until this morning. Maybe this weekend I will take a look at them and see if I can find one or two I want to write about....

For today though, how would you like to see some old family photos? Showing off pictures is fun AND it is a great way for me to not have to write too much. I know it's the lazy way but I am okay with that!

My Grandfather Fred Heise as a small boy. I love this love picture

My Grandmother, Lurlene, as a baby.

My mom, playing on the beach in Galveston

ME, with my Grandmother, Lurlene, and my Granddaddy, Bob.

My dad....

Me with my baby sister, she was (is) such a cutie!

One of my favorite pictures of my Mama Mac and Papa! :)

Okay, that's it for now. I hope you enjoyed the pictures and I hope you have a beautiful day! Thank you for stopping by! :)

Failure

This morning I actually sat down with my journal to write. It's been 10 days since I even tried to write anything there. I am a terrible journal-er. I let too many other things distract me. The thing is, journaling grounds me, it give me a sense of stability. It helps me to focus my thoughts on God and the day ahead. My friend Jerimi over at My Antidepressant Life recently wrote about this very thing. Of course what grounds her is different because people are different. But the principle is the same, taking quiet time to focus and center yourself on God and your surroundings. To give yourself a moment to see and remember what is truly important and of value in your life.

I sat down to write and of course, I start to berate myself to myself, talking about how I am my own worst enemy when it comes to writing (or exercising, or reading, or eating healthy, or...well you get the point). And it is true, I am my own worst enemy. I think most of us are. We hurt ourselves far more than anyone else can do because we can work from the inside. So, I sat here thinking harmful (if truthful) thoughts about all the many and varied ways I have failed of late. This blog, my diet, my work, my marriage, my relationships with family, my church...the list is endless. Hmm, seems like this journaling thing might not be such a good idea after all. But then God reminded me of something. Failure is not a person. I am not a failure. I have failed, but I am not a failure.

Romans 3:23 says "for all have sinned (failed) and fall short of the glory of God". I am not alone. And we are not failures. We are human, that's all. Frail, fragile human beings who fall short sometimes. It's okay.

And so I pick myself (and my journal) up, dust myself off and begin again. Justified freely by His grace (verse 24), forgiven, given a second (or 1000th) chance to try again. Here's to another day, full of ups and downs, success and failure, forgiveness and grace. I'll take it. :)

 

A new beginning

I have gotten off track this month with NaBloPoMo. Last week was a complete bust. I just couldn't find any words to share. My brain was a whirling dervish of random thoughts but I could not grasp a single one. That is what depression and anxiety do to me. Things are a little better today. At least I have the desire to try to write!

I know I am fortunate that these episodes don't last long. I know that so many people go weeks, months, or even years struggling to pull themselves out of the dark pit. I am blessed with an abundance of people who love me and support me when I get a little crazy. I am blessed above all with a heavenly Father who loves me and continues to reach out to me even when I can't see Him. I know he is there, always. Because that is His promise to us all. He will never leave us, He will never forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).

Today is the beginning of a new week. A fresh start. I am going to try to make it a good one!

Happy Father's day Mr. Snozzlbogin!

I want to wish a Happy Father's day to my dad, Rupert Wesley Archimedes Snozzlbogin (not his real name, click here for more info on that!). This morning I called him and asked for permission to post some pictures of him here. I had to ask because he is not a fan of the internet and would rather not have his face plastered all over it. (All I can really say to that is I am glad he doesn't have a Facebook account!) Surprisingly he gave his blessing. (He will probably regret it!) 

I am pretty sure that even though he said I could share some pictures he wouldn't want me to tell you too much about him (weird internet phobia again!) I will tell you this, he is a great dad. He and my mom divorced when I was 5 and my mom and I moved from Virginia to Texas. A move like that is hard, the distance makes regular contact almost impossible to maintain. He did. Every summer and every other Christmas like clockwork I boarded a plane and flew from Texas to Maryland (and later South Carolina) to be absorbed into my other family. I was always greeted with a hug, always loved and cared for, always provided for. 

Divorce can bring out the worst in adults, it can create an atmosphere of blame and ill will that leaves the kids caught in the middle. I never experienced that. Both my parents protected me, never casting blame. That is an incredible gift. One I am beyond grateful for.

These days Dad is semi retired and lives back in his home state of West Virginia. That's not ideal for me and my sisters since I am in Texas and they are South Carolina. But it works for him, so what's a girl to do?!? OH! I know, she posts some awesome pictures of him on the internet!! :)

Here we have me and My dad enjoying the paper together

I imagine "we" are watching a football game.

He sleeps like the dead, a trait I have inherited!

Love the sideburns, circa 1970 something!

Family portrait with my step mom and sisters

The t-shirt says it all!

Showing off his best side!

With his mom, my Mama Mac

At the adoption of my niece and nephew, along with my beautiful baby sister

He and my BIL took the nephew for his first flight. Dad has always loved planes!

Papa time! She must be telling him a great story

great profile shot!

So, Happy Father's Day, Dad! Thanks for everything! I love you.