What do you do?

I was going through some of those 1/2 written posts in my drafts folder this morning and I found this writing prompt:

If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question "what do you do"?

I think it is from the "Blog Everyday" Challenge. I seem to recall "borrowing" several prompts from there, even though I decided not to actually blog everyday. :)

So, let's see, what do I do? well, I read, I write, I clean out litter boxes and run the vacuum. I sell my mom's (and a few of my own) used books on Amazon. I spend time with my sweet husband, I worry, I pray, I sing in my church praise and worship group (and with my cd's in the car on the way to work).

I scrapbook some and I cross stitch some and I dream about other crafts that I will never get around to trying. I take way too many pictures of my cats. I text A LOT. I collect quotes and pictures. Lot and lots of pictures. I spend a lot of time in cyberspace, reading blogs and looking at pictures, browsing Facebook and Pintrest for inspiration. 

I am the admin for my church's Facebook page and for the Prayer Warriors Prayer page (a closed group to protect the privacy of those looking for prayer. If you are interested in joining click here and send a request). I manage a prayer circle at work as well, sending out weekly email updates and holding monthly prayer meetings. I know I have a calling to prayer, though I struggle against it from time to time.  

WOW. I do more than I thought. And less than I think I should. Which is fairly typical I suppose. We all have certain expectations for ourselves (even me, and I am world renowned for drifting through life expectation-less). And many of us have the tendency to berate ourselves for not living up to those expectations. But today instead of focusing on all the things I could be, should be doing, I will be grateful and satisfied with who and what I am and the things I have accomplished! 

 

 

My unglamorous life

Is your job glamorous? Mine is not. Do you sometimes look around you and wonder if you are making any kind of mark on your world? I do. I know I have written about this before, but it was brought to my mind again yesterday. I am not ever likely to be a great leader, I am not likely to ever have the kind of reach with my little blog that will move a thousand hearts to God. But that doesn't mean my life is wasted. God uses me right where I am.

Over the last few days I have been given the opportunity to pray for 3 different people whom I would probably never known if it had not been for my very ordinary, unglamorous job. One is a friend I met when I first went to work there 18 years ago. She moved on to another job long ago but we have maintained a friendship. Last week her husband went into the hospital and today he is having open heart surgery.

The second friend is someone that I work closely with since they restructured my work group a few months back. Her father was life flighted to Houston over the weekend with a ruptured brain aneurysm. He is in ICU while the doctors work out what happened.

The third is a friend I don't see much of since the a for mentioned restructuring. I just don't get to her part of the building much anymore, nor does she get to mine. But she sent me a text yesterday telling me that she will be off work for a while due to health reasons and asking me to add her to my prayer list.  

Being asked to pray is an honor and a gift. When someone reaches out to you like that, they are placing in you a rare trust. I try to do my very best to honor that trust. It makes me so grateful that for my unglamorous little job and my unglamorous little life. God uses me right where I am, He touches hearts through me right where I am. Really, what more could I ask for?

Which daily tasks take up the most of your energy?

That's the NaBloPoMo writing prompt for today. My answer, work. It feel like it consumes my whole day. If I'm not getting ready for work, driving to work, working, driving home, or preparing for the next day, I'm sleeping.

I've said it before, I love my job. Completely. So, I'm not complaining, not really. Just trying to answer the question as honestly as possible. And now I find I am out of words on the subject.....

Now what?

Oh! I can tell you about the post I wrote for the Falling Skies blog! You can find it here. I submitted it over the weekend and then tried to be patient while I waited to see if it made the cut. I am terrible at patience!! But I got up this morning and there it was!

I have mentioned in earlier posts that I am a huge scifi fan (fiction TV fan in general). Falling Skies is my current science fiction favorite. It is a summer series, so there are no new episodes now, which has led those of us who are impatiently waiting to start picking apart previous seasons and making wish lists (demands) and posting them online! :-)

I really enjoy writing about the show, stretching myself a little in new areas, and sharing my interests with other like minded souls.And it's pretty cool to see yourself in print on another blog too!

Okay, I guess that's all for now. I gotta go get ready for work. I hope everyone has a beautiful and blessed day!

Let's go be beautiful, shall we? 

What is the bravest thing you've done?

That is the NaBloPoMo writing prompt for today.

What is the bravest thing I've ever done?

The first thing that came to mind when I read this was writing this blog. I never saw myself as a writer. I have been reading so many blogs by people who have always had the drive, the desire to write. That is not me. This is a completely new thing for me. And it has grabbed hold with a vengeance and will not let go.

The next was my marriage. Sticking it out through the tough times instead of giving up. If you have ever been married, you know what I mean. **And before I hurt anyone's feelings, I am not saying that divorce is giving up. Not for anyone but me. I know that sometimes it's the only option. Sometimes things are not fixable, no matter how hard you try. We all have our own path, our own story, I am not here to judge anyone's story , I just want to share mine.

But I really think, if I stop and think about it, that the bravest thing I have ever done is to seek and follow (to the best of my ability) the heart of God. His heart, his desire for my life is leading me into new territory every day. This blog for one. Being married is definitely one. Singing with my church's praise and worship group is another. I NEVER thought I would stand on that platform with a mic in hand and sing. But this past summer after a service in which most of the group was unable to attend I followed God's nudge and offered to help. Been on that platform ever since. It terrifies me, right up until the music starts. Then God steps in. I don't know how I sound or look, but I don't care. At least in that moment. Because it isn't about me, it's about Him.

Prayer is another path He is leading me down. I have a Facebook prayer group and I manage a prayer group at work (how completely cool is that???) and a few times God has moved me to just go to someone and ask to pray for them. Talk about scary. I always feel this overwhelming fear of looking stupid and being rejected. But not once has that happened. I believe that is because I am following the leading of God.

Yeah, following God is the bravest, scariest, most beautiful thing I have ever done. I think I am gonna keep doing it....

FAY days

Today I am not feeling very strong in my faith, or like a person of any substance. I had an anxiety attack yesterday when I left my doctors office after a routine appointment. I am not dying or anything so don't worry. I think I just reached my limit on personal strength. And so I broke. I was supposed to go back to work, but I drove straight home, took some medicine I keep around for these rare attacks and went to bed.

Why am I telling you this? Well, for one thing it helps. It helps to put it out there for anyone (or no one) to see. I am fragile. My life is built upon strength, but it isn't mine. Sometimes I forget that and I carry the load on my own shoulders. And it gets heavy. Fast. And sooner or later, I break under the strain.

I went through a period in my life when these attacks were almost a weekly (and sometimes daily) occurrence. At work we even have a short hand name for them "FAY". It comes from something I said to the group in the middle of one such melt down one day years ago. The "f" I will let you figure out, but rest is "all" & "y'all". Not my finest moment. But I survived and even found humor in the memory.....

Another reason I am sharing this is because I want anyone who reads this to realize that being saved and forgiven by God, being his child, lead by his spirit and word does not mean you don't have bad days. Just because I am broken now, doesn't mean I am not saved. I tripped and fell, I dropped the load I was carrying. A load I did not have to carry alone. And I will get back up, through God's love and grace. I don't really feel that way at this particular moment, but I KNOW it. Because God's word says it. "In quietness and trust is your strength" (Isaiah 30:15).

I am having a bad day today. But I believe that God is my strength and He will bring me through this. And he can do that for you as well.  

And I am here if you need a friend....

one of THOSE days

Yesterday was definitely one of those days. You know, the kind where you wake up with a light heart and you feel like you could take on the world because you KNOW that God has your back. I felt so close to him.

 I have the luxury of being able to listen to audiobooks or music while I work (on headphones) and I was in such a great mood, I chose praise and worship music. And it felt like every song I listened to had something in it just for me. Have you ever felt that? It is such an incredible feeling. I kept rewinding the songs to listen again, thinking how awesome each one was and how reflected just how I was feeling. I was so upbeat as I took a few minutes to send out prayer requests to our prayer group, I even found the perfect scripture to capture the moment:

  "You have rescued me! I will celebrate and shout, singing praises to you with all my heart." Psalm 71:23 

Perfect, right?!?! And I just kept thinking what a great day this was shaping up to be. All of this happened within the first 3 hours of my workday. After that, it all went downhill. Too much work, not enough people to shoulder the load, and too many things going on led to a very stressful and frustrating conclusion. I was so down by the time 3:30 came (well 3:45 really 'cause I was running late) I couldn't wait to escape.In the back of my mind I kept thinking, what the hell happened???? (sorry if the language offends, yes this christian cusses)

Finally it dawned on me, life happened. I have heard it said so often, God doesn't promise sunshine and rainbows, he promises to walk through the rain with you. Somehow, I always associate that thought with the really bad times. You know, illness, financial problems, big bad things that we all like to pretend only happen other people. I picture thunderstorms with lightening flashing all around, hurricanes or tornadoes with strong winds that push and pull at my soul. But sometimes all it takes is a brief downpour to throw us off track. And God is always there. He didn't leave me, I left him. I let the confusion and stress of the moment block my view of his face. But he always had his eyes on me. He was waiting, just waiting for me to reconnect with him; to see that he had his arms outstretched, ready to comfort and sooth my soul. Ready to put me back on the path and restore my gladness.

  Do you see? Do you see him waiting? I do. 

One of the songs I love! Always speaks to my heart :)

 

Blessed

So I am at work this morning and I got some news that I can't share but it really affected my out look on my world. And you know what I realize? I am so blessed. I have had the same job for 16 years. It isn't fancy or life changing. It doesn't pay the big bucks, in fact I live pretty much paycheck to paycheck. But as I look around I can't help but feel so overwhelmed by the friendships and respect I have found here. I have always known that God led me here, I just never really understood why. Lately I have come to think that maybe he led me here simply to be. To be in a place where I can connect with other people and share my faith. A place where I can look around and see this person or that person and think how incredible they are and how much I wish God's blessings on them. Maybe I am here to learn to see these people and my own life through God's eyes. We all tend to think that if we are not out changing the world that we are somehow a failure, if we don't have the fancy degree or make loads of cash that we are beneath notice. We are NEVER beneath the notice of the one who created us. And we can and do change the world, just by being in it. By living where God has placed us and loving the people he has placed there beside us. And recognizing every now and then the wonder of it all. Wow, I really am so blessed!