So this morning I woke up wanting to write SOMETHING. Problem is, I had no inspiration. There is nothing particular on my mind, no driving need or urge for a specific message. As I have mentioned before, this only works for me if I feel God's guidance in the process. I am not a writer. I can barely speak a coherent sentence in a conversation, much less put something meaningful on paper (or in this case, a computer screen).
I should tell you that I went directly to my bible looking for guidance. But that would be a lie. First, I procrastinated a bit by calling my sister to chat. Then I wandered over to Facebook and commented on a few posts and pictures. After Facebook, I decided to check out a few blogs that I follow. And there it was, my inspiration. Karen Walrond writes a blog called "Choolooloonks" and I love it. She takes the most amazing pictures of the everyday things and she always says something that makes me think.The blog I read today was titled "focusing and daring greatly". Yeah, I needed that. In it she shares about her excitement and fears concerning a new venture and how she tends to fall back on the coping mechanism of focusing on one aspect at a time instead of the big picture. Then she asks the question,
how do you make yourself do something that you're scared to do?
Well, how do I make myself do something that I am scared to do???
Most of my life I have played it safe, especially where my faith is concerned. For years I went to church every time the doors opened, sat in the back, and listened to the message. I was saved, but I wasn't growing. I wasn't stretching my faith or seeking new and deeper insight in my walk with God. Heck, I wasn't even walking with Him, he was carrying me the way a parent carries a small child whose legs are too short to keep pace. I read the bible, I could quote scripture. But that isn't enough, and eventually I started missing church and thinking it was okay, they wouldn't miss me (after all, all I did was warm a pew). Truth is, most of the people probably didn't miss me, cause I was just taking up space.
God missed me though. He had been missing me for a while. It took almost 6 years for him to break through my defenses (I am nothing if not stubborn) and reach my heart. He knows me well, so he didn't waste a lot of time with sweet talk. He grabbed my by my shoulders and shook me and said, Come on girl! I created you for MORE. You might think you are not important in this world, but I say you are. If you believe in me, you have to get up and follow me!
Okay, before you start thinking I need to up my meds, he didn't literally shake me, there was no burning bush or angel or anything so dramatic, But he did speak to my heart. If you have ever felt the presence of God, you know exactly what I mean. For me it is a knowing, a certainty in my spirit. A force too strong to be ignored or put off.
Do this thing I have asked and trust me with it's outcome. Okay Lord. I will. I will start a prayer group on Facebook and revive the one at work. I will go back to church and volunteer to sing with the praise group and yes, I will even start a blog. I will trust you to move hearts, open doors, make the way. I will learn to listen for your voice, not just in the bible, but in the world. I will look for all the inspiration you have placed in my path and be mindful of my step.
So, how do I make myself do something that I am scared to do? I trust God. I listen to him and I trust that no matter the outcome, he is in control. He is my inspiration...
here is a link to Karen's blog, just in case you are interested: Focusing and daring greatly-wildly convinced you're uncommonly beautiful