This morning it dawned on me, I am slipping back into depression. It happens from time to time. Life is stressful and if my diabetes control slips then one of the first symptoms is depression. It is in fact the symptom that lead to my being diagnosed to begin with. I don't think that is normal, but then I am not really normal in any respect (is anyone really??). The last couple of days have been hard and all day yesterday I was nauseated and anxious. I came home and was so out of it my hubby put me to bed and did all my chores (including changing the litter, thanks honey).
This morning I got up and my first thought was, "I don't think I can do this. I have nothing to say Lord". The next thing I did was to check my email (ain't technology grand? I can check my email from my phone before I even make it out of the bedroom.) This is what I found there:
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.
Psalms 19:14
It came in the form of a daily devotional email from Insight for Living, which I will admit to deleting without reading more often than not. I can't even tell you why I do that. Laziness I suppose. I almost deleted it today, but then I thought, why not? Maybe there is something there for me.
God works in amazing ways. I really need this today. It is the cry of my heart, a cry I couldn't even articulate. I am not sure how I am going to get through this work day, but I know that I will be taking this scripture with me. My depression isn't magically lifted, I am not dancing for joy. But I am not alone. My God knows what I need. He knows my heart and finds it acceptable, even in my brokenness. He is my rock and my Redeemer. He has provided all that I need.
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Lord, help me through this day. Give me courage and strength. Calm my fears and my worries. Let my words be acceptable to you, let them glorify you and bless those around me. Let my inner words, my mediation, be pleasing to you as well. Help me to focus on the positive and recognize the blessings all around me. Please Lord, help me get through this day. Amen
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| Another good one that I really need to remember. |
You know, I'd never thought of a dry well as a warning sign. That is really, really helpful. Thank you for sharing it! I'm so sorry you're going through this, right now. I'm sending hope and happy thoughts your way, and cheering you on. Good luck, and do whatever it is you need to do. It's ok to take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteJerimi, thank you. I am glad something I wrote is helpful! :)
DeleteThis week was rough, but I think (hope) the worst is past. Things will get better! :)
Hope your day is a better one today. I think that psalm was something I needed to read and be reminded of today. I am "blue" lately and it is not something I am used to. For me, it is all the craziness at the office and layoffs so I know the "why". Sending a hug you way!
ReplyDeleteWinnie, I am sending hugs back to you. I know the stress and sadness that work changes can cause. hang in there, I know God has a plan! :)
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