Saturday, February 9, 2013

don't let your dreams be dreams



Okay, here it is, my long dreaded awaited dream post. I'm still not sure what I want to say or how to say it. But the GBE2 writing prompt this week is "Dream" so I am taking that as a sign that it's time to give it a try.

the making of a dream jar.

It all started with a dream jar. I read this post by Ashley over at little {mrs.} sunshine. Ashley's post inspired me to make dream jars for my coworkers for Christmas (which were a hit!) but it also wouldn't leave me alone. After that it seemed everywhere I turned I encountered the subject of dreaming. And I really began to feel some real fear about it.

Why? Why does the very word "dream" make me want to reach for my anxiety meds? I have spent a lot of time trying to sort that out. I don't have it all worked out, but here is what I know so far:

I can't remember ever dreaming about what I wanted to do when I grew up. Maybe I did (most kids do, right?) but I don't remember it. I never wanted to be an astronaut or a ballerina. I read a lot and loved music and as a mostly only child I spent a lot of time lost in my own imagination, creating playmates and adventures for myself; but I don't think that is the same thing. I can't remember ever giving thought to my future. I never considered college because I had no deep burning desire to study anything. I got out of high school and went to work. One thing led to another and I stumbled (with God's guidance) into my profession. It was never my plan, I had no plan. 

I fell in love at an early age, but I never planned to marry. I could claim that as the child of divorced parents I was skeptical of the whole notion. But that's not really true. I think it is more accurate to say that I never let myself see a future, any future at all, much less one that included marriage. Then one day I decided to marry him (my 1st love) and that was that. I never envisioned it, but once I set my sights on it, there was no other path for me. I do not regret this at all, I just find it interesting to really look at how my mind worked in this circumstance. One minute, marriage wasn't even part of my vocabulary. The next, we were planning the wedding. My sweet hubby is still confused by this I think. He was certain, right up until I walked down the aisle, that I would back out. (He has spent a lifetime trying to figure out how my mind works, poor guy)

I could go on and on. My whole life seems to be a series of happy (and yes, some not so happy) accidents that led me to this place (even this blog wasn't planned). I love the words of God in Jeremiah 29:11

I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you...Plans to give you hope and a future.




I have always found comfort and security in those words. In the knowledge that God has a plan for me, even if I don't. But lately I have begun to wonder if my fear of dreaming has held me back from that planned future. Dreams are all about hope and a future. Am I allowing my fear to hold me back? Yes, I think I am.

Don't let your dreams be dreams.....for me I think the first step has to be to let myself dream. To speak and write about what I want to happen in my life. This fear is crippling me. How in the world did I let this little thing become so powerful in my life?

Those dream jars I made as Christmas gifts, I made one for myself too. I never put anything in it. I think it's time I did. Just typing those words knots up my stomach and makes my breathing shallow. But I can do this. Right??

I am going to try. And for accountability, I will be bringing you, my faithful reader, along for the ride. So, if I go too long before I post something about dreams again, give me a nudge. Fear has no place in my heart. I don't want it there. I want to strive for the future that God has for me. I want to let myself dream and imagine what it might hold without fear. I really think that is what He wants for me too.

I'm going to try







14 comments:

  1. A lovely post, Tamara! I don't think I had any dreams as a child, either.

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    1. Thanks Paula. I'm glad I'm not the only one! :)

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  2. I think the fact that you made yourself a dream jar speaks volumes and that you were already being led to this path at that point. I look forward to your sharing what goes into that jar! Dreams can be wonderful ~ embrace them!

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement, I need all I can get.

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  3. I am smitten with the idea of dream jars. They sound so, well, almost romantic - as if the jar is where your dreams reside and wait for you to put them into motion. Like you, I didn't dream much of my future. I knew that I'd be a teacher when I grew up, but growing up was never something I thought I'd see. Looking forward to seeing your Dream jar take shape! xo
    V

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    1. Well, those jars were certainly a hit at Christmas! I am so glad your dream of teaching came true. I bet you are an incredible teacher! :)

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  4. And you will reach your dreams when the time is right.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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    1. I hope so Joyce. Thanks for the encouragement. :)

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  5. Tamara, I'll be with you for the ride. Perfect love casts out fear...and Jesus loves you PERFECTLY.

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  6. Love this post, the best you've written! Suggestion: Don't think of it as dreams..think of it as 'targets'. Goals are the same as dreams, really. God, in His infinite wisdom makes us 'go forth', sometimes blindly, but in His direction. I was just reading about God's vocations for us today, and your post is all about His choice for you....a happy blessed wife.

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    1. WOW! Thanks! That is a great compliment. And you are right, thinking of my dreams as targets or goals is less intimidating and stressful. Something for me to think about. :)

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  7. Nice, Tamara! Those words in Jeremiah are very encouraging, as well as comforting!

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  8. I always dream, but with the knowledge that His plan for me may well take me in a totally different direction! It has happened in the past and I'm fine with that. After all, He leads me where I need to be.

    Great post!

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Thank you for stopping by to read my rambles. I would love it if you leave me a comment! Comments make my heart smile!