I am especially not a fan of change when it takes place in multiple fronts in my life at once. And that is what is happening. Some of it is good. The hubby and I have been making some important changes in our relationship, and that is good. We have been together basically our entire lives (we started dating at age 17, married at age 20) and we had reached a place where we realized we had lost our connection to each other. We are here, in the same place at the same time. But we haven't really been together. We are working to fix that. And that is a really good thing.
Things are changing at work too. Some of that is good. More responsibility. New challenges. I am looking forward to that. But with it comes a change in my schedule. I will be going from 7:00 am - 3:30 pm to 9:30 am - 6:00 pm. This will only add more strain to my marriage. A new problem for us to overcome. It will also make appointments hard to keep without having to take the whole day off from work (time management is already a struggle for me).
*Before I go on, I should say I do realize how lucky I am to have a job. I know there are a lot of folks out there that would be grateful for my job and welcome the hours. That doesn't change the fact that after at least 12 years of working the coveted 7 am to 3:30 pm I have been informed (not asked) that my hours will change and given about a month to make arrangements. Added to this that I will no longer be able to carpool. With a 80 mile round trip drive 5 days a week, this puts a huge financial burden on us.
So, change is all around me. And I do not like it. I just want to wave a magic wand and make everything work out. I want to use fairy dust, or wish on a falling star. I want to wiggle my nose and fix it. I can't.
I can do one thing. I can pray. I can ask my Father to help me through all these challenges. This, unfortunately, is not the first thing that comes to mind. Why is that? I know better. I think it is simply because I am human, and as such I have an overwhelming urge to beat my head against the brick wall of life. I really need to change that.
One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 46:10
Be still and know that I am God.
God doesn't say worry. He doesn't say obsess. He doesn't say fight it. He says Be Still. I am really, really bad at being still. I am a fixer. A whiner. An obsess-er. I am not the quiet, waiting type. Even burying my head in the sand and ignoring the issue is not being still. It is action, really foolish action, but action all the same. So, I need to work on this. Do me a favor and when you pray, pray for me. Pray for my marriage, my job, my walk with God. Pray for me to find the courage and patience to be still.
|so, this is the beginning, right?|