Thirty Days of Truth: Day One

Something you hate about yourself.

Oh, do I have to pick just one thing? On good days I am simply a little self deprecating. On bad days I tend to be very self critical. I am too fat, too slow, too lazy, too anxious, too depressed, too depressing, too......well, you get the picture. So, if I have to pick just one thing, I suppose it would have to be that self defeating self criticism.

Of course, I realize full well that this is not the way I have been called to live. I am called to live a life free of all these negative emotions. The very nature of my relationship with God is designed to free me from this defeatist attitude. Of course, knowing this and living in the reality of that knowledge are 2 different things. It is a choice. It doesn't feel like it, but it is. I choose to see myself through my veiled human sight, rather than through the clarity of God's love.

So, how do I change this? Minute by minute, day by day. When I catch myself giving in to this way of thinking, I have to stop and realign my thoughts with my understanding of God's love and will for my life.

If I make the Lord my primary focus, if I find delight in my walk with Him, there can't be room for all those negative feelings and thoughts. His word tells me over and over again that he will walk with me through whatever comes, that he protect my soul and spirit (the only parts of me that truly matter) and use me to draw others to him.

He has overcome the world. And some days that must seem a much easier task than overcoming my stubborn heart. And yet he hasn't given up on me. Will never give up on me. So, I won't be giving up on myself. I am a work in progress. I am not perfect, but I am loved perfectly. And that love is a miracle working love that can change even my stubborn heart.