Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Some thoughts on stillness....



Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
 
This is so hard to do! I have 2 extremes in me, battling for control. Action and inaction. Action wants to fix it. And it doesn't really matter what "it" is or how impossible it may actually be for my human hands to fix. I want to help, to make whatever is wrong right. 
 
My mom is not a very empathetic person and she knows it. In an effort to raise me right, she tried to instill empathy in me. She often says she did this too well. I can very easily become wrapped up in other people's problems. I can feel their pain, if I allow it, so clearly. And I become their champion, looking for a foe to vanquish.
 
Inaction is my other extreme. This is not stillness. It is not the same thing. Inaction turns a blind eye to the world, even to those closest to my heart. This happens when I become overwhelmed by life and start narrowing my focus to just get through the day. I stop interacting, stop making eye contact. I have trouble answering my phone or listening to my voice mail messages (I currently have 3 messages from the weekend I need to listen to, I think one is my Dad). I move through my days, doing what is needed and only that. And sometimes not even that much, if I am honest. Inaction is a symptom of depression. It hurts me and those I love. And it is definitely not the same thing as stillness.

When I read the scripture above, I know what it means. Be still, be calm, be patient, be prayerful. Rest in the knowledge that you can give your cares to me, you can talk to me and tell me what worries you. Tell me about your loved ones and friends and I will champion them. Tell me your fears and I will help you to stand against them and overcome them. I am God. I am your Father. I love you more than you can imagine, trust in that. Trust me.
 
 Being still is place between action and inaction. It is the place of trust. It is the place of peace. It is the place of perfect love. And in my very human, very broken state it is a very difficult place to find. But I am trying, Lord. I am. Be patient with me, teach me to fully trust you, to be still because I can see your hand moving in my life. I want to learn to be still in awe and wonder. I want my heart to be lifted and enlightened by your love and grace. I want my actions to directed by you and I want my inaction to be fully replaced by your peace.

 
Yes it is.
 

14 comments:

  1. Tamara, as always your words are insightful and helpful. Thank you.

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    1. Thank you Rennata. It is nice to know that my thoughts make an impact in some small way. :)

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  2. depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain..it is a medical condition that can be treated. The fact that you recognize you are depressed, is God's way of telling you that you need to be healed...He knows that in this state of mind, your healing comes first...trust will follow.

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    1. very true. Thank you for reminding me, I need that from time to time. I am on a medication that has worked fairly well for years, and I think it still is. I just have my moments. :)

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  3. Sound like you know yourself well!

    I have had my sad moments lately too but I think they are of the pep talk variety : )

    Like the image, so true!

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    1. Does it? Because I feel like each word I type is a revelation, a concept I had never considered before now. This blog has grown into a wonderful therapy for me, helping me to see things much more clearly. :)

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  4. Stillness...and inaction. Two very different things. So true. And so hard to find that balance between compulsive action and lethargy. Been there. Dne that..at both ends of the spectrum.

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    1. Yes, it is a balancing act I perform every day. :)

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  5. Amen. I have a hard time being still too... Thank you for the reminder that it's necessary sometimes to be still.

    Thanks for linking up!

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    1. Thank you for hosting the link up! Just one of the many reasons you are my hero. :)

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  6. That Psalm is one of my favorites. My friend wrote that to me years ago when I lost my youngest brother. He told me it helped him when his sister was killed. He got threw it and would reflect and pray. It helped me, and then years later when my hubby was battling and passed, my friend reminded me by sending the Psalm my way again. I need the reminder and care sometimes. Take good care!

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    1. Sounds like a good friend. We need those when we are in the tough times. :)

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  7. Me too. Being still is a challenge for someone always either striving, or exhausted from trying too hard. Why can't we just rest? Sigh, learning, I guess.

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