Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
This is so hard to do! I have 2 extremes in me, battling for control. Action and inaction. Action wants to fix it. And it doesn't really matter what "it" is or how impossible it may actually be for my human hands to fix. I want to help, to make whatever is wrong right.
My mom is not a very empathetic person and she knows it. In an effort to raise me right, she tried to instill empathy in me. She often says she did this too well. I can very easily become wrapped up in other people's problems. I can feel their pain, if I allow it, so clearly. And I become their champion, looking for a foe to vanquish.
Inaction is my other extreme. This is not stillness. It is not the same thing. Inaction turns a blind eye to the world, even to those closest to my heart. This happens when I become overwhelmed by life and start narrowing my focus to just get through the day. I stop interacting, stop making eye contact. I have trouble answering my phone or listening to my voice mail messages (I currently have 3 messages from the weekend I need to listen to, I think one is my Dad). I move through my days, doing what is needed and only that. And sometimes not even that much, if I am honest. Inaction is a symptom of depression. It hurts me and those I love. And it is definitely not the same thing as stillness.
When I read the scripture above, I know what it means. Be still, be calm, be patient, be prayerful. Rest in the knowledge that you can give your cares to me, you can talk to me and tell me what worries you. Tell me about your loved ones and friends and I will champion them. Tell me your fears and I will help you to stand against them and overcome them. I am God. I am your Father. I love you more than you can imagine, trust in that. Trust me.
Being still is place between action and inaction. It is the place of trust. It is the place of peace. It is the place of perfect love. And in my very human, very broken state it is a very difficult place to find. But I am trying, Lord. I am. Be patient with me, teach me to fully trust you, to be still because I can see your hand moving in my life. I want to learn to be still in awe and wonder. I want my heart to be lifted and enlightened by your love and grace. I want my actions to directed by you and I want my inaction to be fully replaced by your peace.
|Yes it is.|