Anyway, today is his birthday. They don't live near me, so I won't be participating in any birthday celebrations, that makes me kind of sad. I miss a lot, not being closer. But that's life, and not really what I wanted to focus on here.
What I want to tell you about, what I wish I could tell Clark, are my wishes, dreams, and prayers for his life.
Clark makes life very difficult in his home. He does this with intention. Yes, I know he is a teenage boy and they are by definition difficult at times. But this is more than that. This is tied more to his past and his feelings of self worth. In short, Clark has a hard time accepting love and guidance because he feels unworthy. So he creates situations where he gets in trouble. He is stubborn and willful, and refuses to listen and follow instruction. It is a constant battle that leaves his parents drained and frustrated. How can they reach him? How can they make him accept their presence, their love?
Oh, how I wish I could make Clark see, really see, how valuable he truly is. How important he is to our family. And how much he is loved. That he is worthy of that love. I want to dig down deep into the darkest places of his heart and root out those feelings of being "less". I want to open his eyes and force him to accept that this is not a mistake, he is not a mistake. He is family. He is ours. Now and forever.
I chose the name Clark in the beginning because I was thinking about Clark Kent. You know, Superman's alter ego, the quiet, mild mannered reporter. There isn't much resemblance between my Clark and that description of our fictional Mr. Kent. But there is one thing that they have in common, my dear nephew and Mr. Kent. Under the disguise of everyday life they are both hiding incredible strength and potential to change the world. The difference is Mr. Kent knows it, my Clark hasn't realized it yet. But he will.
I have faith that he will. Faith in my sister and brother in-law, that they will find the way to reach him. Faith in God, that he is working in Clark's heart, clearing away the darkness and planting seeds of love and healing. And I have faith in Clark. That he will find that inner Superman.
I don't know when/if Clark will ever read this, that's up to his parents. But if you ever do read my humble words Clark, please know that I love you. And no matter what you may think of yourself, I believe in you. Happy Birthday, Superman,