Thirty Days of Truth: Day 9

 Day 09. Someone you didn’t want to let go of.

My niece and nephew. It's a long story and most of it is not mine to share, but the basic information is a matter of public record. I lost contact with them about 10 years ago after my brother in law was convicted of sexually abusing his daughter. He is serving a life sentence (thank you Lord). After his abuse came to light her mother's family pressured her to cut contact with us even though we completely believed and supported her. I fought it for a while, calling weekly and sending cards and gifts at holidays and birthdays. Eventually I had to give up though. You can only beat your head against the wall for so long.

I miss those kids. Well, they aren't really kids anymore. She is 21 years old now and he is 19. I haven't been able to keep track of him, but I have found her online. Unfortunately the news is not good. What I found were arrest records. From what I have been able to gather she must be involved in drug use. I find this incredibly sad, her mother died in 2004 from a drug overdose (suicide if you believe the stories, but I lean more to an accidental overdose). After her mother's death she and her brother were adopted by her maternal aunt and uncle. I had hoped and prayed that they would be safe and protected, that they would both get the guidance and therapy they would both need to overcome everything that happened in their lives. I don't know if that was provided for them, but it certainly seems that she is still struggling.

I pray for them both, I wish I could reconnect with them. But that is out of my hands. I just have to trust that if I can help them that God will direct me back into their lives.

I love you Kara and Sean. Now and always. 

If I had the chance, this is what I would tell them both.

Sunday thoughts and fur babies

I have a confession. We are cat people. And we have too many cats. People ask me from time to time how many we have and I always say "too many", mostly because it is depressing to count them. And because people look at me like I am crazy.

It wasn't always this way. About 6 months before our marriage my hubby brought home this adorable ball of fluff that we named Smokey. A year or 2 later my sweet husband brought home Little Bit and Tigger. And we were a family of 5, 2 humans and 3 felines. Then about a year later he brought home Jonah (are you seeing the pattern?). Five became six and we were officially outnumbered by the felines.

We rocked along with those numbers holding steady for several years until we found an abandoned kitten in our yard during a flash flood. We brought her in and cleaned her up. Her name is Sassy and at this moment she is curled up on the couch next to me, napping with Jonah and Cuddle Bug.

Cuddles is the black and white one, Sassy is the cream one and Jonah is the fuzzy one.

After that we rescued Cricket and Tiny Mite. And things started to get out of control. Years later, Cricket and Tiny are gone (as well as Smokey, Tigger, and Little Bit) and so many more have come and gone. We both have a soft spot for the sick and the injured. We have spent more money on saving (or trying to save) cats that we found in parking lots and fields or that have been dumped near our home.

Tonight we have a pet taxi in our living room with one of our fur babies in it. It's Pakita and I am pretty sure she has "thrown" a blood clot that has damaged her brain. I have seen this before. In fact, her momma (Tiny Mite) passed away from this exact same thing. I pray I am wrong. That it's an infection or some other treatable problem. But I am afraid it's not. She isn't eating or drinking anything, she is just sitting there with this wide eyed vacant look. It breaks my heart.

I have spoken with the vet and am planning to take her in when they open in the morning. Pakita is about 9 years old, that is considered elderly (strange to me since Jonah is 19 and just starting to slow down) so we have decided not to be too aggressive in treatment. We have to be practical, but it is so hard. It feels like giving up. It feels like I am abandoning my baby girl.


Please pray for us. Pray that we make the right decision for Pakita. Pray that she isn't in pain. Thank you.

My sweet girl during better days

Thirty Days of Truth: Day 6

Day 06. Something you hope you never have to do.

This one is easy. I hope I never have to bury anyone else I love. I know it is unlikely that this hope will be fulfilled. I accept the fact that I will one day have to say goodbye to my mother and my father (though I refuse to consider the loss of my sisters or husband). I have already lost both my step parents, all 4 grandparents, my husband's grandparents (who raised him), & 2 childhood friends. That seems like more than enough, thank you world. I want to keep who I have left, to wrap them in a protective shell of love never let them leave me.


Is that really too much to ask for?


Yeah, I know it is. So, I can only hope and pray that until that day comes that each and every person I care for will know it. That my actions and my words will express my constant affection for them. And when that moment of goodbye comes, I pray I will handle it with grace and courage. I want no regrets.

Take the hint folks, if you have a relationship that needs mending, get to mending. Pick up the phone, send an email, write a letter. Reach out to those you love, don't waste a single second.

Thank you Lord, for the love you have surrounded me with, for the family and friends I love and who love me in return. Thank you for the grace that you pour into my heart daily. Protect and keep my loved ones, pour that grace over their lives as well. Bless whoever stumbles upon my words. let these simple words be a blessing to them. Thank you for everything you have sacrificed for us all. Amen