Friday Funnies

Well, I pretty much blew off this week of NaBloPoMo. I just couldn't find anything to write about, the words just weren't there. I think maybe I am starting to come out of it. I am grateful that these episodes don't last long, I know that isn't true for a lot of people. Anyway, I hope to be back on track soon. Bare with my faithful reader (I think I have 1), I will be back!

Now, how about some Funnies?!?!

I have been thinking this all week!!

:)

Chocolate Chip Cookies

I know it well

WHY?????

There is truth in this one.

This one too, trust me

And this one...... ;)

And that wraps our latest addition of Friday Funnies! Now, get out there and brighten someone's day!

i before e.....

this message brought to by laziness.......thank you and goodnight.

For Lorraine

Oh, I am really struggling with this post. I know what I want to say but I just can't find the right combination of words. Everything I write just sounds flat to me, I just can't seem to find the spark to make my words come alive. I am tempted to give up, to just post a quick picture or quote and move on. But this is a special day and I wanted to tell you about it. Well, tell you about her.

This is Lorraine.

Isn't she beautiful? She is my stepmother. Well, technically she stopped being my stepmother around 1996 when she and my dad divorced. But in my heart she will always be my stepmother. It doesn't really matter what her marriage license said, she is mine.

Today is her birthday, she would have been 58. She passed away almost 3 years ago from breast cancer. It seems insanely wrong that she is no longer here. She was far too young, had far too much living left to do.

This woman had a huge impact on my life. She is the mother of my two beautiful sisters. Every summer and every other Christmas when I stepped off the plane she was there, ready and willing to take on this obnoxious, stubborn, difficult child. She never failed to treat me like one of her own. She gave the gift of acceptance. I never realized what a precious gift that was until much later in life.

Like I said, I don't have the words to really explain what her presence in my life has meant to me. I only know that I was very very blessed to have her for as long as I did.

Happy Birthday Lorraine, I love you. Thanks for everything. 

Sunday thoughts

I did it again. I forgot to post on Saturday. I think maybe this month of NaBloPoMo is going to be a "no writing Saturday" month.

Honestly, I don't have anything to say now. My well is still dry.......


I will see you guys tomorrow. 

Friday Funnies!

It has been a really bad week for me, but today is Friday and I am determined to make the best of it! So, let's get started out on the right foot with some funnies!!

YUM!!

I may have used this one before, but it is still good!

I wonder if my boss will accept a note of confession from my cat??

And then you will be mysteriously disconnected...Have a nice day.

Not my cat....but it could be

HA!

Run!!

AWWWW!

I'm not sure this qualifies as funny, seems accurate to me.

______________________

Like I said, it's been a rough week for me. Do me a favor and say a little prayer for me that I can keep it together today. Thank you! 

One step at a time

The day after

okay, so yesterday did not go well. I tried, I really did. I went to work and tried to just let go of the growing anxiety in my heart. But it just kept building and building until I just fell apart. I am very blessed with a management team that knows of my issues and is very supportive of me. I went to one of those wonderful people and he let me into the conference room, a nice quiet corner of the building that was not being used. A good place for me to try to pull it together. I tell you, these are awesome people. They don't ask questions, they may think I am crazy (I am) but they take it in stride. They just help me find a quiet out of the way place and leave me to sort myself out.

So, step one, find a quiet out of the way place to melt down. Check.

Step two, call my husband. He has a way of calming me. Probably because he has known me so long and so well. He is pretty adept at handling my brand of crazy. He was busy with something when he answered the phone, I could tell by his tone. But as soon as he realized what was happening he switched gears, dropping everything to focus on calming me. We talked for awhile, until the tears stopped. We decided I needed to come home. Okay. Now all I needed to do was find the courage to leave the room.......

Obviously I did manage that one. I gathered my stuff, scared the heck out of one of my newer coworkers, and headed for the door. On the drive home I needed distracting (or I would have ended up sitting on the side of the road) so I called a friend. When she answered I told her briefly what happened and that I just needed her to talk to me. So she did. She is awesome like that.

Step three, make it home in one piece. Check.

So, here I sit. It's Thursday and I should be at work. I'm not. It's safe here and I don't want to leave. I am embarrassed by my breakdown and I don't want to face my coworkers yet (ever). Don't get me wrong, I know I have to. And really, this is a mild breakdown when compared to some of my past malfunctions. I survived those. I can survive this. It's just that this is my first anxiety attack with my new work group. My old team, we had been together for years. They were used to me. My tears and panic didn't scare them (much). This new group is different. Now I have to go in and explain myself, make eye contact. Find a way past this.

This is so much easier than that. Here in the blogosphere I don't have to make eye contact. Here I can confess my craziness and ramble endlessly about trying to cope without having to endure the pity and fear in eyes I can't quite meet.

Let me out!!

Saw this on Facebook this morning and thought "yeah, that's me". I do feel like I am going out of my mind, or at least trying to. I can see myself beating at the walls of my own brain, looking for the exit. Have you ever felt that way? Like the last place in the world you want to be is trapped in your own thoughts?

It's not even that my thoughts are particularly dark or depressing. It's more like they are a chaotic whirlwind of disconnected randomness. Whirling around but going nowhere. Day like this are exactly why I am glad to be able to listen to audiobooks at work. Music just doesn't cut it on days like this. It seems to wind me up further instead of soothing me. But I can lose myself in the stories, I can shut down and immerse myself in a mind that is not my own. It makes facing other people and earning a living possible.

It's funny how writing all of this helps. My first instinct wasn't to write, if I had not already signed up for NaBloPoMo this month I probably wouldn't be writing at all. But I did, and I can't stand the idea of giving up on the challenge before it's even begun (it's only the 5th, after all). I suppose I could have faked some sort of cheerful post (or 12). But honestly, I am not that creative. So, you are stuck reading my crazy ramblings. Sorry. But I am finding that it really does help. Like the audiobooks. It helps make leaving the safety of this house possible.

I will get through this. I know from past experience that it doesn't last forever. I just gotta keep telling myself that.