Learning to love my voice

It's the day after Christmas and all through the house, the only creatures stirring are me and the cats.

What? you expected something more poetic? Sorry, I'm not really that girl. I am not that creative with my words. In fact, can I tell you a secret? Most of the time I don't even like my words. The written word is easier for me because I can read and reread and edit until I have reached my "least stupid" and then share. But speaking? More often than not I speak and then think "what was THAT??".

Strangely, other people don't seem to find as much fault with my thoughts as I do. Which tells me two things.

1. I know a lot of really kind people.
2. I'm not as dumb as I think I am.

Back in November I stumbled across a blog called Cathy's Voice. First of all, the title of her blog reached out and grabbed me. It's simple, straight forward, and to the point. Then there was this quote on Cathy's "about" page.

 There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou

And we know that I love a quote. But that's not all, there was one more thing on her blog that caught my attention.

this

It was this little picture that grabbed me and held on. It was this image that really got me thinking about my own voice and whether or not I even like how it sounds.

That question was pretty easy to answer, NO. I don't really like my voice. Written or spoken, I almost always feel that my words don't have value. They sound stupid to me. But here's the thing, God gave me this voice. And I am pretty sure he wants me to use it. And love it. So, I am trying. That's part of what this blog is about, I suppose (why am I just now realizing that?). Me, learning to love my voice, to trust my words, and to trust that God can use them. That He wants to use them.

Writing those words is actually kind of scary. I usually do a really good job of avoiding thoughts and ideas that scare me. At least right up until they cause a panic attack. So facing this head on is new for me. I have a voice, and God can use it, has used it, to reach others. And I need to honor that by learning to love my voice.

I want to say thank you to Cathy for allowing me to borrow her picture, and for sharing her voice. Cathy, your voice is helping me find and love my own. Your voice makes a difference.

Please pray for me. I need God on this journey, and I need your prayers and support to stay on His path. I have so much to say, I just want to be sure my words are coming from the right place and at the right time.

And now I have run out of words for this post. Not the best wrap up, but it is what it is. :-)