Now, can I tell you a secret? This holiday is kind of a tough one for me. Being middle aged and childless is something I have accepted and even appreciate at times, but on Mother's Day I always have to fight down some bitter, sad feelings. Everywhere I go it seems people stop to say "happy mother's day". They are being kind, they don't realize that I am not a mom. I am after all the right age to have kids, maybe even grand kids. I used to try to correct folks like this, but that never goes well. I would end up feeling worse and so would they. Now days I just try to avoid human contact on Mother's Day. Sad, huh?
Don't get me wrong, I am NOT having a pity party. I know in my heart that God knew what he was doing when he chose to say "no" to my desire for a child. I trust that. Most days when I watch and listen to the struggles of the parents around me I am even a little bit grateful. God knows me better than I know myself. He knew what I could handle and where I needed to focus my energies. I have faith in that. But I would be lying if I said it never bothers me, that I don't ever wish that things were different.
Okay, that's my guilty little secret! I hope I didn't ruin anyone's day by sharing it. I mean it sincerely when I say Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there. You definitely deserve this special day for all the hard work you do!
